To Nurse or Not to Nurse... Part 2

So how long do I plan on keeping up this roller coaster of a ritual? My original goal was 6 months. If I stayed at home with him that long, there should be no reason I couldn't’t reach this goal. I’ve made it 4 months without a drop of formula, and I’m so proud of my accomplishments and how my son is thriving- each successful day gives me strength and will to make it one more tomorrow. Even as I face the obstacle of working outside of the home more often in the near future, I feel confident in my abilities to continue filling him up with the good stuff.

Although I’m beaming with pride today, I know how easily the feeling can turn into distress and what used to be an amicable situation may one day be unmanageable. My first child and I endured the nursing process for his first 4 months. At the time, I was working away from home full time. Spending so much energy and effort pumping milk and being away from him for so long just made the experience less than enjoyable for everyone. I gave up the fight at the right time and eventually tested and decided on the perfect formula and he’s grown into an amazing and delightfully wild toddler. After surviving this weaning process once before, I am better prepared to notice the signs that it’s time to move on. This must be half the battle, the harder half actually. Consistently re-evaluating your own situation is key to success in motherhood, but what are some important guideposts for weaning?

• Consider your own nutrition. How well are you taking care of yourself and ingesting the right nutrients for baby? If you can't keep up with your own health, its probably time to consider a formula- they are designed to keep baby healthy and nourished after all, and that's priority number 1!


• Working outside of the home, spending your evenings at football or ballet with the older child and fulfilling your role of wonderful wifey all at the same time may put you over the limit of reasonable duties. Evaluate your important daily tasks, if you're at your limit and can't eliminate some of them (many families can't), breastfeeding might not be for you. Trying to be Supermom is a great aspiration, but even Supermom knows when to say Yes and No. You're not really flying around gracefully in a cape saving the world if you're so frazzled you forget to put the darn thing on!

Making the decision to feed your baby formula should not cause you to be riddled with guilt! Understanding that there are benefits for yourself, your family and your baby in feeding a formula is important. Here are some guilt-free nourishment tips when you've reached the intersection of "Boobie and Not the Boobie".

• Formula has come a long way in the past years and improvements and varieties are constantly being made on all brands- a healthy happy baby is the goal of everyone, even those companies making a substitute for your own lovingly created milk.


• Saying goodbye to your pump can be extremely liberating and a huge relief. There are multiple inconveniences associated with these machines- sore breasts, time consuming pumping sessions- and many women have trouble getting adequate amounts of milk to reserve causing detrimental damage to their milk supply.


• Formula can be pretty easy to transport. For those less brave souls who don't fancy whipping out a breast in public, a pre-sorted container of powder and some warm water goes a loooong way for comfort.


• Baby will likely get more bonding experience with friends and family when formula is used for feedings. Until this point you may have a Momma's boy/girl (and who wouldn't be?). Introducing an easy bottle fed dinner from Daddy will not only give you some extra time and freedom, it will give Dad a chance to google and gaga with Baby in your place- which he has been secretly jealous of for a while now :)


• Goodbye engorged breasts, helllllloooo dinner and a movie with your husband! Or how about a day trip to a nearby lake or beach with friends. No pumping or discomfort required. Can you imagine it? What about that weekend conference on the coast next spring? Your friend's wedding across the state? How about a cruise to the Bahamas to celebrate your anniversary? All of these things become possible when baby can be safely left with good nutrition and loving caretakers!

I've found that starting out with supplemental bottles worked best for us. The more he started eating each day, the less my body could keep up while I was working. We introduced formula bottles usually with solid food feedings, and saved the breastmilk for our time together. With my second son, I plan on introducing the formula mixed with the rice cereal. My breasts don't respond favorably to frequent pumping therefore it's difficult for me to keep up his normal feeding supply, plus reserves for mixing with cereals. Being the best Mother to my children isn't always easy but with the support of my friends and family and the guidance of my doctor and our boys' pediatrician, I haven't had to sacrifice my confidence along the way!

*My boys Noah 2 mo., Shane 23 mo. June 2008

To Nurse or Not to Nurse... Part 1

As I assume most women do, there are many days in which I question and re-evaluate why I am nursing my baby. Why am I allowing this infant to inflict such pain on me sometimes? Why do I insist on being physically attached to him no less than every 4 hours of the day? Why am I so selfish as to not let anyone else have the great opportunity to feed the little guy (while I sleep a few minutes longer!)? Why do I continue to put myself through humiliation for the sake of feeding him in public? Do I really like the thought of my poor overworked boobs and what will become of them when this is all said and done? The lack of freedom and opportunity? WHAT AM I DOING?!?!? In my moments of weakness, I remind myself of the reasons I started off nursing in the first place and manage to make it through another day on the path I set out to follow.

Why do it?

1.) In the hard economic times we are living in, especially when your family is living off of one income- the cash you don't spend on formula each week could probably pay your mortgage. (Slight exaggeration, just slight though)

2.) The overnight feeder is best satisfied by a quick hook up to the boobie. Instant gratification for him, not much effort required for Mom. In fact, I think I've slept through a few feedings even. No bottles to warm or wash or find under the bed weeks later!

3.) One on One time- Guaranteed! My favorite excuse for escaping unfavorable situations involving family and/or friends- "Baby's got to eat, please excuse us!" There's nothing better than escaping the yearly family argument after Christmas dinner or Grandma's old fashioned (horrible) ideas for raising your child for a little bit of peace and quiet!

4.) Healthy, Happy Baby! There's no better food for him than what I'm cooking up on a consistent basis. He's getting exactly what he needs, nothing more, nothing less! I'm confident he is growing with the best chances at health and comfort. There's no confusion or decisions in the baby formula aisle for us! No trial and error to find what works best.

5.) Breast milk Spit-up smells like roses in comparison to that of formula based spit up. It also doesn't stain clothing like formula does. My son's poop rarely has much smell to it at all-his gas is another story, but the actual bowel movement is rather unoffensive!

6.) Did you know the longer you breastfeed your children, the better your odds are of not being faced with breast cancer?

7.) Personal Diet Benefits- Nursing calls for a women to be at her healthiest to provide baby with the right vitamins and nutrients. This means continuing the pregnancy diet for the most part and keeping your own body healthy and happy - which it will thank you for dearly after all the stress of pregnancy, labor and delivery! In most cases, women see better results where their post-par tum goals are concerned if they breastfeed their babies. (I've already made it within 2 lbs of my prepreg weight, with very little effort on my part!) Plus pre-natal vitamins are recommended for nursing Mom's as well, which is another great way to keep your own health up to par.

8.) Feeling Guilt Free!- Every time I consider weaning my son I get sick with guilt. After all, research shows how powerful the choice to breastfeed really is, how could I take that away from him for my own benefit? My own mood lifts just knowing that I'm able to provide him with the top of the line meals, every time. This is particularly warming to me since there isn't much else "top of the line" (Ralph Lauren baby clothes, $350 stroller I'm dying to have, his own nursery furniture set... the list goes on!) that I'll be able to give to him.

What to expect...

(Dug this up from October 2007. A blog I wrote to my friends and family announcing the conception of our 2nd child!)

Wow... what a surprise! I should write a book titled more appropriately "What to Expect When You Weren't Really Expecting..." !!! Fortunately for us, we had no doubt as to whether or not we wanted to grow our family-- it was more a battle of when! And that battle is now settled and over and neither of us won so, one less thing to waste our energy debating about. Shortly after we realized I was pregnant again, we created a mental list of pros. Let me re-phrase, I wept about the cons and Cory kindly issued a list of the pros of this unplanned timing. Much to our amazement we found that in fact, there was no better time to pop out Baby 2, the list of pros far outweighed the cons in number as well as validity. (most of my cons consisted of selfish, irrelevant points -- I'm going to be fat, I'm going to be fatter, we're not going to Mexico now for our 1 year anniversary, we have 2 kids in diapers... this baby is not going to be a summer baby like the 3 of us... wait a minute... this child is due less than 2 weeks before our anniversary. Sleepless nights, stitches and engorged breasts are not romantic at all!!! What have we done?!?!?!)

Now, close to 3 months later (try not to be offended that I didn't tell you earlier, I have plenty of reasons!) I have entered that favorite 2nd trimester only to realize that-- I have no idea what to expect when I'm expecting! I still have the book, thank god, which I read before bed when I have time. My favorite book, A Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy, was the only thing that could make me laugh or smile for about 2 months... so happy to be out of that stage too! So far, I have learned that all the horror stories are true for the most part. The second baby will try to kill you and if you survive, you deserve a flat screen TV, Lobster dinner and couples massage immediately after you are wheeled out of the labor room (and before they bring the newborn back to start breastfeeding). The morning after I took the test my clothes did not fit, my bras did not fit, I was ill and paranoid that everyone was staring at me. I have been extremely short on breath and dizzy-- more often than not which causes some concern in public places.

Today, closing in on 16 weeks pregnant, I have given up 90% of my closet, I eat hopefully enough for 2 and often forget I am harvesting a fetus. (Please note that does not mean I neglect my divine duties of creating a healthy baby, I'm not that retarded!) Simply put, there is a huge contrast between my pregnancies, neither is really better than the other-- they are just very different. When I had Shane, I had started making a Baby Book Journal for him within hours of seeing his little heart beat inside his little limabean self. This time, I have managed to buy the book... When I first started showing with Shane, I was also glowing and happily browsing the maternity sections. Now I am repulsed by the thought of those clothes and the glowing, is more like a Pro-Activ commercial-- the before photo is there, but the after photo is not in sight! With Shane on board we spent hours researching baby names, even though we already knew we had picked a winner. Cory and I have vowed to not speak to anyone about names of this child because we can't agree on anything and anytime anyone asks, there is a public fight that ends with the silent treatment... the list goes on. I didn't' miss an hour of work during the months leading to Shane's birth... I've missed so much work these past few months, I will lose my job if I miss 2 hours or more. I won't say that I wasn't a basket case some days with Shane, but I definitely wasn't so emotionally disturbed that I couldn't sleep!

The Holidays are right around the corner-- my favorite time of year, and each day that passes is one closer to the newest phase of our lives. I spend 0 time worrying about the differences in my pregnancies. I already know my kids are going to be different, and I am a different person now than I was pregnant with Shane. So its ok. It doesn't mean I'm less of a Mom to one than the other, or that there is favoritism. That Baby Book will get started before it's born, we will have a perfect set of names and the second baby will be born into just as welcoming of a home as Shane was. (I hope as swiftly and fortunately as he was too!) The truth is-- I simply hate being pregnant and would rather drive to the hospital the day of birth and bring home our new little bundle of joy. But that doesn't mean much of anything, especially when the little one is finally here. :)

________________________________________________________________

Noah Nicolas arrived

April 19th, 2008

9lbs 1oz 21"

Supersteals!

I'm so excited about my weekend bargain, I simply must share!

During our Sunday morning family time at the local Wal-Mart a couple days ago, as my husband and I were racing down the aisles, each with a boy in our carts, trying to excite them about the endeavours of grocery shopping, I steered us off course a bit into the baby department for some quick browsing. We were in the market for another carseat for our oldest son to pop-a-squat in while riding in Dada's car so we spent a few minutes reviewing the selection and taking mental notes. On our way out of the baby department, I spotted a giant box on a clearance shelf- it was a carseat for toddlers so I decided to check it out.

This $70 seat was marked down to $32! It met all the specifications we were looking for and I couldn't bear the thought of missing such a good deal, so we swooped it up and continued our trek to the frozen food section. About 2 steps into this trek however, I spotted another carseat on clearance! This one was a previous display- and just happened to be a model that I considered buying for our toddler when he first came of age for a new forward facing ride. The seat was going for $140 originally, and was sitting here staring at me with a clearance tag of just $70 now. Why was I even bothering with this? Well I just so happened to have a little infant who is not at all little, and about 3 lbs from outgrowing his infant car seat. Although it wasn't a priority, he would surely be needing an upgrade soon enough. Our good friends/neighbors purchased this seat for their daughter and were very pleased with it, so I call them up real quick and have them explain all the pieces parts and verify that everything is here. We test all the straps and pulls, everything works. Looks as though this poor display model was just replaced with the newer version a couple aisles over!

I excitedly situate this seat in our 2nd cart now, we decide on both of them and bolt out of the baby department with our eyes closed to avoid any further damage to our checking account. We left that store feeling so triumphant and lucky to have stumbled upon these immense savings, just as we needed them. I didn't even care to focus on menu items for the remainder of our trip, I was just itching to get home with our "stolen" merchandise and put it to use!

I can't wait to see what interesting finds we may come across next Sunday! If you're family is on a budget and facing some big ticket items, I definately recommend keeping one eye to the bottom shelf- you never know what's waiting for you!

A Map to Success

After birthing 2 children of my own I’ve been told time and time again those endearing feel good comments like- "Whose baby is that? You couldn’t possibly have just had a baby!", "Wow you look fantastic are those prepreg jeans?" (Yes they were!) "Your so lucky you can lose weight like that!"

So I've got to be doing something right, right? The numbers alone are appealing, after my first son was born I managed to get 7 lbs below my prepreg weight. Going into post partum number 2, I worried that I wouldn't have the same advantages as the first go round- back then I was driven by the will to look stunning in my Wedding dress and all those expensive photos, and on that expensive honeymoon... Here I am 4 months into "post-baby-body-reconciliation" though, and I am not at all disappointed in my body's will to recover on its own- sans the pressure of getting married. Some days it feels like it's fighting its own battle and my own physical will doesn't even need to wake up- (in lamens terms) I'm still eating cookies.

What separates me from plenty of other struggling new mommies? Where is this unfair advantage coming from and how do you tap into it? First of all, let me make it perfectly clear that I am no health food junkie, I do not regularly exercise (yet), I am not withering away of an eating disorder and I accept no help from little magic pills. I don't believe that it is just in "my genes" to perform this weight shedding either- the rest of the women in my family will attest to that. What I do believe however, is that post partum weight loss has a lot to do with your mentality. Which if you think about it, might make sense-- it's the easiest thing to batter and lose control of. Women especially, are guilty of brutally destroying their own self esteem and confidence- most of the times unintentionally or passively.

If your endless parade of diet and weight loss tips and tricks are not working for you (still) and you're tired of waiting for the winning float to ask you aboard- take a moment to consider and review the "map of success" I've put together. You never know, it just might work for you!

Rules

1.) "Get by with a little help from your friends"-- I love this song! And how can you not? It tells us all that it's ok to need a hand sometimes, it's human and it's natural. (Both of those sound like good characteristics for a diet to me!) Here are some ideas on how to use them:
Take them shopping with you. No, not just to peruse the clearance racks, new shoes or latest trend in handbags. To the grocery store. You'd be surprised what you think twice about putting in the cart when your "diet buddy" is around. This is also a great time to catch up on the latest gossip, take a break from the home and enjoy each other's company (something you may otherwise do over food and drinks?). Plus, second opinions on food choices can only be helpful for everyone involved. My girlfriends and I used to meet at our local Wal-Mart once a week and take our time picking out foods to eat, comparing labels together and of course- chatting each other up.
Report to them. Start a plan together in which you and your buddy(ies) weigh in, measure hips, waist, bust etc and check in together every week. Keep a "plan journal" to record all pertinent information about your success and progress. Sharing the results weekly with a good friend fuels your desire for future accomplishments and seeing the new stats on paper always feels good.
Work out with them. This doesn't necessarily mean everyone gets a membership to the same gym and meets there on a regular basis. Have fun with it- get an exciting workout DVD to get into together and meet at your place after work once a week. Join a workout class together- yoga, kick boxing, even dance- anything that keeps you moving and having fun is the key.

2.) Everything in moderation-- You've surely heard this before, and it really does help. Don't say "no" to indulging in Co-Worker's birthday cake, say "no" to that giant piece on the corner with extra frosting, and graciously accept an inside sliver instead. Take the cake and walk away- don't look back at the leftovers! When dealing with large meals, consider how your wallet will benefit from stretching that one dinner into dinner and lunch the next day.

3.) Make the best choices possible, as often as possible!-- I say this all the time, remember- it's my motto! This is as easy as 2% milk over whole, light yogurt over regular, low fat cheese and dressing options... wheat bread or tortillas instead of classic white. And remember- as often as possible gives you some wiggle room to order french fries with your meal today instead of a baked potato. Just be mindful that today doesn't turn into tomorrow, and the next day... Same thing goes with exercise. If you're bumming out on the couch, do some leg lifts or grab a hand weight. If you've got a spare 10 minutes jog in place. Opt to walk the dog with your kids around the block. Choose games that involve physical effort with your children. This can be so easy-- no need to dedicate time out of your schedule to get your body moving, take what you can, when you can!

4.) Don't be foolish!--Postpartum ladies listen up. It is virtually impossible to unveil the same body you had prior to that positive pregnancy test. Just as motherhood changes, well just about everything in your world- the body goes with it. THIS DOES NOT HAVE TO BE A BAD THING! Don't set expectations in the form of your high school prom picture or any other photo of yourself pre-pregnancy. Once you give birth you are forever changed, embrace that and you will succeed. I myself weigh less and have more muscle tone. My hips bones are also stretched a bit wider and my breasts aren't what they used to be- you win some, you lose some! But physically and mentally- I feel great, which is what we should be striving for, not the magazine ad of perfection you've got plastered in your mind. Let that model be happy with herself and her body, remember- you're not her and you never will be. Therefore reaching for her personal "success" is foolish. Don't let it go beyond inspiring you.

Now that you've got the basic rules, here are just a few of my favorite, tried and true things to help along the way!

Lean Cuisine, low calorie 20 oz beverage and a light yogurt at lunch
Slimfast between breakfast and lunch or lunch and dinner
Single serving (yes count them out!) of pretzels and peanut butter (in moderation!)
Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade
Unsweet Iced Tea with Lemon
Salad mix, vegs of choice, a chopped buffalo chicken strip (freezer section), fat free ranch
Half sandwich + single serving of a "smart choice" snack, 2 oreos
Skim Milk, 2% cheese, light sour cream and light cream cheese...
Coke zero (and its flavored cousins- like cherry coke zero)
Thin crust pizzas

Dancing with the kids to our favorite tunes to pass the time
Extra laps around the mall
Lifting baby (or toddler when I'm pushing the limits!) for playtime
Nonstop crunches to a high energy song
Stretching on the floor during primetime tv (aka Olympics for the next couple weeks!)

Posture-- make yourself sit up straight, walk tall, and keep your chin up. People notice this stuff- in a good way!
Don't squeeze into jeans you aren't quite ready for, and don't keep wearing the ones that sag either.
Trendy, billowing tops are extremely forgiving
Exude confidence even if it's not about your body (keep the headline of your most recent accomplishment on constant alert in your mind)
Smile! It's really hard not to look and feel better about yourself when you're wearing one.

Good luck with your own map to success, don't beat yourself up over anything and remember- it's about being happy and feeling great, not just a number on the scale!

PS- My success story is no substitute for consulting your doctor on weight loss topics, please consult your doctor with any health concerns and issues.

Make the best decisions possible, as often as possible!

That's my motto for everything in life, whether it be pertaining to diet and excersise, picking my battles with the kids, shopping adventures, business decisions even-- really, it's so universal and easy to live by, and who doesn't like easy?

Let's talk diet for a moment! Most women are plagued by their eating choices on a daily basis, struggling with guilt and insecurities that dine with them each and every meal of the day. As if we aren't fighting enough battles during the day, we must choose to throw in the white flag and surrender, or charge full speed ahead- weapons drawn- every time we wander into the kitchen. Why can't this be any easier? Why doesn't my mortgage also pay for an exciting in-house chef, eager to serve me health, life and happiness in food on a plate, 3-5 times a day?

While I can't provide answers (ones you want to hear anyways) to those questions, I can offer a small bit of relief that just may give you that extra energy to go through with that charging ahead with weapons thing. Here are some easy substitutions I've learned by way of a great website for Moms called BabyFit.com!

Instead Of; Try; Calories saved (per serving)

Regular Potato Chips; Baked Potato Chips; 90
Pudding; Sugar Free Applesauce; 108
Ice Cream; Nonfat Frozen Yogurt; 153
Whole Milk; Skim Milk; 60
Fettucine Alfredo; Spaghetti and tom. sauce; 426
Ground Beef; Ground Turkey; 132
Chocolate Chip Cookies; Vanilla Wafers; 200
Cheddar Cheese; Mozzarella Cheese; 141
Cafe Latte; Hot Tea; 122
Ricotta Cheese; Cottage Cheese; 172
Sour Cream; Plain Yogurt; 343

For the full list they've created check out this link-
http://babyfit.sparkpeople.com/articles.asp?id=575

If you're trying to get pregnant, already pregnant, or recently un-pregnant, this website is a fun and extremely informative way to stay fit, track your progress, make new friends and learn to your heart's desire all the fascinating things about Motherhood!

It's almost time for my dinner now, which my husband has lovingly prepared-- Tequilla Lime Chicken, delicious zuchinni and yellow squash are on the menu and I can't get to the table fast enough! Next post: My personal weight loss success story! Who knows, maybe it will work for you?

Just for Laughs!

And you thought you were having a bad hairday!

* Shane (in the a.m.), @ 21 mo. - son of Cherise Phillips

IHOP Mortification

An Introduction:

I go by "Mamma!!!" to two fantastic and exciting little boys. My oldest just turned 2 (which he happily shows you with both of his pointer fingers and "tttwwwwooooo" in his screechy toddler voice) and our newest addition, is working on 4 months. As many stories and fun circulating emails claim, things tend to loosen up a bit with your second child. For the most part, I have found this to be a true theory. Case in question here-- public breastfeeding. While I did put in a valiant effort with baby one, we didn't have many opportunities to even attempt this since I was working full time away from home 6 weeks after his arrival. Baby two however, is attached to me every minute of the day it seems, and I no longer work full time out of the house. As a family, or just as husband and wife occasionally, we do enjoy getting out of the house and the public breastfeeding issue frequently arrises. Up until the point of this story, I had spent an entire day at a car dealership when baby was only 2 weeks old and managed two successful feedings in a deserted waiting room. How liberating! I quickly became comfortable feeding baby in front of our closest friends, since we see them a few times a week anyways, and had even taken my chances in a department store restroom's sitting area. Which smelled awful, was carpeted, therefore rather dirty and had lots of constant spectators. It is moments like these in which a person may question their intentions, however- they also prevail feeling victorious and down right proud. There's your background on me. Now fast forward to IHOP Humiliation.

My husband and I are invited to an evening of bowling at our local alley for a good friend's birthday. Our 2 year old is secured with a babysitter, and our precious little bundle comes along for the fun. I myself have just returned from a bridal shower and was dressed nicely for the occasion in a halter top (that is not stretchy by the way) and skirt. A good crowd of our friends attend the event, including a pregnant wife. She mentions pancakes and we both jump for joy at the thought of all you can eat pancakes for dinner. We manage to race through the bowling and get a party of 6 together to hit up the IHOP down the road. I can hardly wait to get my plate of pancakes! And perfectly in line with his normal inconvenient timing, baby can't wait for his dinner either. We are seated in a large booth by a very friendly woman who is eager to please everyone at the table- especially this screaming creature in a carseat. The restraunt at this time, has a few other tables, but it's 10pm so there isn't too much going on here. Yet.

I'm desperately trying to appease the baby with an insulting binky and sweet talk while we look over the menus and start to order. Waitress exclaims repeatedly: "Mamma, that baby is huuuungry, he wants his food Mamma!" Did I mention the guys had been drinking during the bowling festivities? Because my slightly drunken husband is about to irritate me here. He then insists that I go out to the deserted parking lot and sit in the backseat (we don't even have tinted windows and we're in a part of town often referred to as... slightly ghetto?) to feed the child, while everyone enjoys their pancakes in peace. OR I can go into the bathroom, sit on a disgusting toilet and let him eat his heart out there. Men. Meanwhile baby is protesting the binky like it is poison plastic, sweat pouring from every possible gland in his body and I'm already slightly embarrassed noticing the other tables all staring at this altercation. Giving up the dream of pancakes, I tell him to let me out of the booth and prepare to take the show out to the car.

Very Friendly Waitress couldn't hold back any longer and put her power to please out on the table. "What Mamma, you nursing him? I got 5 churun (I have no idea how to spell this word but I'm trying lol) myself, what are you just not comfortable? Listen- ya'll all friends aint ya? Here Dad, hold the blanket up for her like this (lots of demonstrations going on here) so she can pull her shirt off and let that boy eat!" Our table of friends are either in complete shock, hysterically laughing or looking anywhere BUT my general direction. I am convinced at this time that I am sooo red faced, I could set my husband on fire- maybe the whole restraunt!

Back to that non stretchy halter top. It must be nearly removed completely to allow nursing to proceed. I hope the other restraunt guests didn't mind at all and my sincere apologies if they did!The Waitress proceeds to assist my husband in making this thing happen and baby frantically attaches himself to me and joyfully slurps (among other distracting sounds) his way to happiness. To avoid my friend, her husband and another couple staring at my breasts during their pancake feasting, I put up a menu in front of me- I can not be seen now (I was on the verge of tears by now so this was very welcome). Just as I sit back and take a deep breath of relaxation, that drunken husband of mine snaps the menu up and hands it to the Waitress. HELLOOO BOOBIES!!!!!! IHOP, I'd like you to meet my Milk Jugs, Milk Jugs, this is IHOP. And have you met Angela across the table? She's just hilarious!

After resetting up my menu of protection I do my best to make light of the situation by enjoying my pancakes. The others do their best to make me feel less exposed, by discussing their bowel movements. Maybe that was the beer talking, who knows. I do not partake in conversations about poop and I no longer enjoy pancakes. Or IHOP!

The lesson you should be taking from this? Appeasing a sweet little bundle of screaming, unconsolable joy with your boobies in public can be all in a day's work here at Motherhood! And always dress for the nursing occasion, tint your windows, don't let your husband drink when he's bowling and most importantly- thank your very friendly waitress next time you eat out. She's not only handling your food, she's fighting for the rights of starving breastfed babies in our country!